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The Pirate Apocalypse




Maybe this will be a chance for me to be witty and elegant and show the world how sophisticated I am. Orrrr maybe I'll just swear a lot and post pictures of guys making out. Probably the latter.

Also, be warned: I'm going to completely flood this thing with Harry Potter/Teen Wolf/Doctor Who/Marvel/me being a hilarious motherfucker what of it. Just a heads up.

(sidebar gif by michellicopter, thanks harveylove!)

Closet Capers 2013 Daily Dose: Make a play


cheeseisnotafruit inquired: "Prompt: stiles calls sheriff's while babysitting Scott's kid because he's trying to remember the Stilinski baby rash remedy but deputy Derek picks up the phone and stiles has to justify calling the police."

giantteenwolforgy:

"Beacon County Sheriff’s Department," a gruff voice answers.

Stiles stops and looks at the phone in surprise, still bouncing Hannah on one hip. That…is definitely not his dad. Fuck. He must have accidentally called the station instead of his dad’s personal line. Again.

"Uhm. Hi," he says lamely. 

There’s a pregnant pause before the voice on the other end says, “Hello.”

"Can you patch me through to Sheriff Stilinski?" he tries. He doesn’t immediately recognize the voice, but there’s a good chance he’s met whoever it is at least once. 

Another pause. “Is this an emergency?”

Yes, Stiles wants to say, but he’s not exactly sure how to justify needing his dad’s patented diaper rash remedy as an emergency. Hannah’s rash isn’t even that bad, but Scott’s been calling him every half hour to ask him to check on it, and drop totally unsubtle hints about how his mom said the sheriff might be able to help.

"Kind of," he settles on. "Uh. What’s your name?"

There’s a huff, like the guy on the other end is losing his patience, which, rude. “My name is Deputy Hale. What’s the problem, sir?”

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awwww-cute:

I tried to shame him for eating all my shoes. I’m not sure what I expected

awwww-cute:

I tried to shame him for eating all my shoes. I’m not sure what I expected




floozys:

straight boys are weak and pathetic, queer girls walk into the ladies changing room and see ten women naked, do they stare? do they say something inappropriate? do they make them uncomfortable? no because they have the common fucking sense to recognise when a situation is sexual and that people deserve the most basic level of respect to not be harassed, yet here we are banning shorts and low cut tops in school because straight boys are weak and pathetic



queenconsuelabananahammock:

murderwhitepeople:

People asking babies to undertake adult workloads is one of my favourite things

And he’s just looking like, “Fuck out my face. Teletubbies is on, and you blocking the screen.”



emmyandsuch:


This is the line that has gotten me through life.

emmyandsuch:

This is the line that has gotten me through life.



tennants-hair:

when i find myself in times of trouble

the 12th doctor comes to me

speaking words of wisdom

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